North Carolina Week 1
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
I arrived in the mountains of North Carolina on November 1st and was greeted with such a beautiful sight at my Airbnb. (If you’re just here for the photos, scroll on down to see what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.) I’ll be living in this mountain apartment (below the main house of the host) on Scaly Mountain until December 4th. If you’re reading this, hopefully you care about me and the things I have to say and share, as this will get personal about my feelings and experiences along the way. If you’re into that, disclaimer said, read on…
Week one: shew! It has been weird. I posted a little about it on my social media, but it’s been unsettling. And before you give me all the positive vibe, you’re doing great business, understand it’s ok to feel unsettled, out of place, kinda shitty, lonely, AND grateful and excited all at the same time. I am well aware that I alone chose this trajectory, and my only expectation was the unknown. Which can bring all manner of feelings and insights. Like, wait, what am I doing? Am I SURE I want to do this? The answers to those questions are, I don’t know, and yes, I’m sure. ;-)
If you’ve read past posts, you know this idea sprouted in mid May. And like most things in my life, the whys don’t come until later. Sometimes much later. I have some loose whys as to why I decided to pack up my life, put it in storage, and journey into the unknown. Some whys are, why not? I’m in a very free place in my life with my job, singleness, no lease or mortgage, and something in my gut is urging me to do this. Uncomfortable things are where transformation and magick happen (you’ve read all the intsa quotes), and you get to learn about and really be with yourself. (Like my dad says, where ever you go, there you are.)
The root of this year for me has been a dismantling of what was, what I’ve thought was true for me, and a revealing of what is. While my journey of self discovery has been a decade long, this year is a real deep dive into ditching harmful ways of being that I’ve carried with me for most of my life. They just manifested themselves in different people, places, habits, thoughts, and beliefs along the way. I’ve come to a place of really loving myself. And while that sometimes looks super rosey and smiley and picturesque, other times it’s dark, lonely, and tearful. All of this is manageable through healthy practices like meditation, breathwork, journaling, mindfulness, traditional therapy, support from my incredible family and friends, and the occasional dip into the wine bottle. (Alcohol is still an ongoing journey for me and I have transformed my relationship with it in a major way. Will I ditch it 100% someday? Maybe. Maybe not.) And all of this dips and dives, waxes and wanes, and that’s ok. I’ve come to be more comfortable with how things are, just as they are.
There could be absolutely nothing magickal at the end of this journey, and that’s not the point. It’s the middle bits along the way. And for once in my life, instead of chasing love from another, I’m chasing love from myself and some epic views along the way. ;-) You’ll also start to see photos of some of kind and creative souls I’m connecting with along the way. Featured this week is my host Sandy with her amazing homemade pizza, and my new friend, Bailey. Both are artists and free spirits and no doubt intended connections for this sojourn.
Thank you for being with me along the way, and I’ll link the hike names and destinations to the photos below.
Love, Jessica, Finley, and Pito
